Happy Shower Crying Everyone

Yay cake. Mom's a citizen now!

Yay cake. Mom’s a citizen now!

This time of year, the last week before the holidays start for the kids is always the most chaotic. There is the dreaded holiday potluck at school which, in the spirit of the season, has us bringing our traditional holiday dishes passed down through the generations. I honestly can’t think what this might be. Spotted Dick I guess, or English Pudding or some horrible traditional English dessert that must be set on fire to be edible. My mom mentioned Christmas cakes the other night when we were celebrating her recent citizenship with a Rice Krispy Treat Cake. Christmas cakes are these fruit cakes covered in a thick casing of hardened marzipan-like icing, that are served on Christmas day. They have dates and cherries in them and they are about as dense as a 4×4. They must be, and these were my mom’s words, matured for up to a year before serving. Anyway, with 12 hours to pull together a traditional dish passed down through the generations, I did not have time to mature my cakes and instead threw myself on the mercy of Whole Foods and got a fruit and cheese plate. The lone single mom in the class confided in me that last year she brought hot dogs, and that her holiday tradition is “shower crying,” and I was like, I hear that.

Our Christmas cards are not going to come in time, the result, the harried customer service woman told me, of some kind of shipping error or printing error. I did however, get Ivy’s thank you cards sent out from her birthday party. Faced with sitting down with Ivy for an hour and dictating how to spell “Friendship making kit” and “Brain Quest Bonanza” I put the pen in my left fist and scrawled them all myself and signed her name. They looked pretty legit.

Arun is still coming off one of his drugs that controls his cataplexy. This seems to have exacerbated things at night because not only is he extremely sleepy from the Xyrem kicking in, but as he loses muscle control it’s a race to get his mask on. If we miss what feels like the 30 second window and he doesn’t get his mask on, it’s a comical grappling between the two of us as I try and affix it to his face, tighten the bands and latch the sides, while keeping him upright in bed so I can get the straps behind his head. Last night, not ten minutes after I’d gotten it on his face, Gilbert, one of our new kittens who loves anything that makes a crinkling sound, came to inspect the tubing on Arun’s mask and faster than I could even reach for him, punctured a hole in the tube with his little needly teeth. I knew he had done it because I could hear the telltale hissing of air. I found some duct tape downstairs and in the dark felt around for the leaking air to patch it, thinking…if anyone walks in right now and sees the knock out juice on the nightstand and me standing over Arun with a roll of duct tape, it’s not going to look good for me.

Anyway, Happy Holidays everyone. I think I’ve posted these before from This American Life, but they are both about sleep. One is an amazing account of sleepwalking that is just so incredible and funny that I’ve listened to it more than once. The other is the best account of cataplexy I’ve heard. You might enjoy them. Then again if you are like me and limping towards the holiday finish line, you might be too busy shower crying.



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One Response to “Happy Shower Crying Everyone”

  1. One of my New Year’s Resolutions that I forgot to make and probably won’t write down and will forget until next year is to find a replacement for Google Reader so I can actually know when you have a new post.

    Happy shower crying to you. That’s the single best line I’ve heard this holiday season. (See how I’m pretending it’s still the holiday season and I can still make resolutions for the new year? Because I still have so much December stuff to do…sigh. Shower crying.)

    Happy citizenship to yo mama!